書きたいのごと

いつも、日本語をかきたいです。

きの、父ど母か懸架しました。三十年の感情は何かな？突然に、恋のごとか怖いを感じた。

もし私この一生か八十年の生命かあります、その半分以上の時間か好きの人ど一緒に。てもほんとにいいか？一人て、ほかいかんも。

 

Finish my Japanese practise, start something that I really in mind now.

Yesterday, I have ask my mum about dad and her trip to China. How did they plan about it. And then I knew, they have cancel it. Because dad don’t want to use any more money. And mum said, how can he don’t have money, maybe he is give to my borther….

And it happens…

After the fight between my dad and mum, I am really thinking to be single for my life. I don’t know how long I will be living in this world, but incase if I am still live when I was 80 which mean I will only have about 40 years to enjoy my life. I have not count in the childhood and old age. Don’t know who will be my partner in the feture, but I do want to enjoy my life in my way. I am fraid that marrage is not the way for me. I know my dream when I was young, I want to have a family. Have hursband, childred around me. But family is not an easy realtionshop. When two people need to be live together, there are so many problems needs to be solve, so many things need to be disscus about. However I am sure I can not do it.

I don’t want to let the people who I love to hate me in the end of life like now. I know dad and mum are not really hate each other. They just want to have sometime to relax their life, when they thinking too much for each other. But I do want to say that I am a selfish person. I may think about it, but not all the time. I can not force my way like that.

 

Just want to write down, who knows what I will do later?

But I do want to run away from this family sometimes. I do want to have a break.

Maybe this is the reason I like travel around. I want to run away from the family.

 

And I am start to thinking maybe cancel my FINLAND trip.

Don’t want to spend any more money in February, then I can have more money to spend in Hokkaido.